The Things We Take For Granted

Most of us live our lives day to day and get caught up in the "now." It's not necessarily a bad thing but most of us forget about all the great people and things we are lucky to have. But then, when we feel like we're at our lowest low, we get a wake up call. That wake up call can be brought on by just about anything, the smile on your child's face, the compliment from a stranger, the embrace of a friend, or encouraging words from a loved one.

My recent wake up call was brought on by a special little boy, named Caleb. Caleb is 3 years old and he is the nephew of a friend of mine. I haven't had the honor to meet this special little guy but he has touched my life with out even knowing it. You see just recently he was diagnosed with Leukemia. As you could imagine the news was a shock to all his family and friends. I don't know exactly if Caleb knows or understands the illness that he is fiercely fighting but we all have hope that he beats this villian. Immediately after Caleb was diagnosed he started treatment but to his knowledge he's getting spider juice and he might turn into Spiderman. I have to say that Caleb's mom is one great creative woman. I don't know if I could come up with something so great like that on the fly. Even though Caleb would be thrilled to actually turn into Spiderman, I think he's already a super hero.

Thank you Caleb for reminding me that life is not only daily errands, chores, and bills. Thank you for reminding me to slow my days down, to appreciate the beauty of the life and the people that surround me.

CHBM Photo Friday: Light

This post was brought to you by CHBM Photo Friday, topic Light.

Customer Service...Ever Heard Of It?

So my friend and I were talking the other day and our conversation led us to the topic of customer service. She was telling me about a recent experience where she had called in to her job, she's a yoga instructor for a gym, and asked the front desk receptionist what days does the payroll week end and begin? The receptionist's response was "I don't know" and that was it. She didn't follow up with "Let me check or Let me find out for you," or anything to that effect. So my friend's next question was "Can you ask someone?" "I can't," she said "no one is here right now." Hmm...so I would think the receptionist would say something like "No one is available right now but when I find out I can give you a call back," but did she...nope. My friend was just a little upset and floored by it.

So what did my friend do? Well she drove down there, found the manager and asked him. She then went to the receptionist (she asked for her name before they ended their phone conversation) and told her when the payroll period was. My friend said that the look on the girls face was priceless, not to mention speechless and to add a little drama she told the girl to "wipe that look of your face because I'm only trying to help you in case another employee asks you the same question you won't look stupid again." (Yesss...hi five to my friend!)

We then started talking about how the "young adults" if you want to call them that, nowadays have no respect for people and no customer service skills. When we were their age, which was not long ago, less than 10 yrs., we were courteous and helpful. We never would have said "I don't know" and left it at that. We always went above and beyond, it was the right thing to do so why wouldn't we. So what's changed? Don't people care anymore?

I wish I could say that it's just kids being kids but that can't be the whole truth. As a parent now, I think it has to do a lot with a person's home life. Are parents teaching their children manners? How to be polite, helpful, and courteous? Are they setting good examples? From my own experiences I find that people in general are just grumpy and very impolite and for lack of a better word, that sucks! An example for you, everyday I smile at people when I'm out and about. There is no real meaning behind it only that I want you to know that I see you, and I acknowledge you. When I go to a store I always hold the door open for the person behind me and I'll say more than 60% of the time, that person will not say thank you. My 4 year old son does the same thing and even he doesn't get a thank you. So what do they do in the moment of politeness, well most of the time I'm ignored. Sometimes the person will look me in the face and still not smile or say a word and it really is upsetting. Maybe I shouldn't care about people's reactions or even expect a proper thank you but I'd like to believe that there are still manners being taught.

I don't know if you've seen them but there are some commercials on TV where you see one person being nice to another person and it's almost like a trickle effect and the entire commercial it's people doing polite things for another. I wish this really was the case but as far as I can see it's not which is so unfortunate. Really the would would be a better place if this would happen more often.

Well, I guess to each his own. All I could do is continue to do what I've been doing and teaching my children to do the same and hopefully once in a while someone will catch the polite bug and the trickle effect will occur.

Balance ~ Just A Thought

Balance, this is my new favorite drink of choice. It's one of the many different flavors of Vitamin Waters being sold and this particular one is a delicious blend of cranberry and grapefruit. If you haven't tried Vitamin Water I encourage you to do so because they are so good and refreshing and you get extra vitamins. A genius product. Now that I've marketed this product for free I'd like to say that I wish that balance for your life also came in a bottle. Isn't the thought just wonderful?

How great would life be if we could really open up a bottle and magically our lives would just fall in to place, complete balance. I know I'm not the only one that believes life to be a balancing act.

Everyday we wake up wishing we had enough time, money, and patience. We want to be a better wife/husband, mother/father, sister/brother, daughter/son, friend, or employee. We try every day to reach these goals but some how we can't find a way to complete the task. Once in awhile we come very close and sometimes believe that we've actually made it until that unforeseen weight tips the scale and we find ourself off balance once again.

Oh how great it would be if balance for your life came in a bottle.

Through The Mist Of It All

I saw a double rainbow today.

Back in July, a couple posts ago, I felt like I was getting back to normal. Things were looking up and I was feeling good. Along with that came a job opportunity which made me think, hey this might be it, this might be the moment where I actually return to work after a year and a half of being a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong I love my kiddos but I miss working.

Before moving to Colorado I was "Super Mom," seriously I was. After my first kiddo was born I was the bread winner for my family. I supported our family while my husband, who was actually just my baby's daddy at the time (LOL we didn't want to rush into marriage but that's another story) went to culinary school. I worked and he studied to be a chef. I was at home with the little one and he took a 3 month externship to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Majorca, Spain, and New York City. After he graduated he did get a job but I was still bring in the dough but that changed when we got a really great offer to work for the company that he is currently work for. Long story short that offer moved us out here to Denver. I was used to being the bread winner and when we moved to Colorado I gave it up. But it wasn't just giving up a job to me, it was giving up my security, knowing that I could support myself. It was giving up the place where I was just me, a co-worker, a friend, not a wife or a mother. It was just different.

Anyways, back to the job opportunity. I was offered a positon in an office where I knew I'd be a good fit. You know how women claim to have that intuition, well mine is usually dead on. So I was really excited and the hubby was very supportive and the only thing that we needed to work out was childcare. I started my search right away and I was lucky and found someone that was going to work out just perfectly until...she backed out on me. Uh...yeah...sucky!

So I quickly went back to searching for a replacement. I posted three classified ads on CL for nanny/SAHM/babysitters and got pretty much nothing. I emailed several people looking for work, they either didn't like the schedule I had or they were to expensive. Did you know that nannies charge $15 hour? The job I got wasn't even going to pay me that much. So long story short after two almost three weeks of constant searching, I got nothing. Zip, zilch, nada damn thing. I have to admit that it's been really stressful and quite disappointing. After all the effort that I put forth I come out in last place. People remind me that "everything happens for a reason" and as I know that this is true, it doesn't ease the disappointment.

So I had to go to the office today and let them know that as much as I was looking forward to working with them, I wasn't going to be able to. They were really understanding and that was great because there aren't that may places that would be so understanding. (See, I knew it was going to be a good fit.) So after leaving I decided that I'd go buy a dress. I probably shouldn't have since money is tight but hey I was feeling really down and I rarely ever turn to shopping when I'm upset.

I was driving home under the half-clouded, half-sunny sky, which was producing light rain and thinking about the day and dwelling on the position I just gave up. I was still feeling low, even after buying a dress, and I looked out my window to see a beautiful view. It was a rainbow. I quickly told my son to look and his smile was big and bright which brighten my spirits. When I went to take another look I noticed not only was there one rainbow but there were two. I was on a residential side street so I pulled over and told my son to jump in the front with me because there were two rainbows. We both sat for a few minutes and enjoyed the view. We were so excited and in that moment everything was better. It was almost as if God was saying, "I know your down but there is more to look forward to." My son and I shared our first double rainbow and although he may not remember I always will. Thank you God for the beautiful view and my beautiful son.

Blinded By Colorado Beauty

Isn't CO beautiful!!! Finaly after a year of living here we got to explore what this state has to offer. I swear I'm in love with this view!

Green Mt. Reservoir - Elliot Campground - CO

Ok so I'm being a bit lazy about actually writing about our trip but I promise I'll be back to update this post.

Getting Back To Normal

So for some reason I've been in a funk, since like May, just haven't seem like myself but as of yesterday I think that I'm final back to normal. I can't really pin point why or what brought me to such a low, I guess it was just a mix of things. You know how it is, life, it just happens.

So what was it about yesterday that got me back to normal? Well I guess it was that fact that I had a good day with the hubby, i.e. no bickering, and the kiddos were not as monstrous as usual (seriouly two boys can drive you mad). But what was best of all is I finally got to enjoy being with my normal (ok so we're each a little strange) girls, doing our weekly normal girls night out. It wasn't like we did anything extraordinary, we just went to a concert in the park like thing. Anyway, I find it amusing how something so simple can be so impacting but at the same time it makes sense. My CL girls are my friends and I know that because they can fix me without even knowing that they fixed me. Thank you friends.

Oh and my sister too, who sent me a video that cracked me up only because she know how silly I could be and totally picutred me being the girl in the Boom Chicka Wah Wah video. Thanks sis for getting me back to silly.

WTF??

So you ask to take my kids for the day and regardless of the fact that they spent three days straight spending time with you and only one day with my family because they can't afford to take time off, I still said yes. Now I'm thinking I should of said no.

I'm the kind of mom that prepares her kids for a change so when you said you'd pick them up at 9am I expect you would. I told the big boy "Your spending the day tomorrow with Grandma and Grandpa so we're going to wake up early and be ready so when they get here you can leave. They will pick you up at 9'o clock." Now Big Boy can't really tell time but he has a good idea and he knows that when he looks a a digital clock that the first number he sees + o'clock = the time.

Well the boys were ready to go 5 mins. till 9. I got the car seats out, the stroller, the kids bag put together and we walked around in the front of the house because they were excited to spend the day with you. 9:05 rolled around and I thought ok they're running a little late but still in the back of my mind I replay our conversation from last night,

Me: What time did you want to pick them up.

You: I don't know. Hey Grandpa what time?

Me:(I interject, since it's obvious you didn't think about it yet) How about 9 since the boys usually get up at 8 and that way I can have them ready to go.

You: 9? (speaking to Grandpa) She said nine, but that's a little late don't you think? (Speaking to me) Why don't I pick them up at 8 in their pj's?

Me: No, I'd rather them have breakfast and be ready to go.

Grandpa: (in the background) Well if that's when the boys get up at then that's when they get up.

9:15 rolls by, the boys are still waiting. 9:35 comes and the phone rings. "Hi, good morning, we're late but we're leaving in 5 mins." Now give me a little credit, as much as I hope that "leaving in 5 mins" actually means 5 mins, we both know that 5 mins your time means 20 plus the 20 min drive. By this time we had already decided to go back into the house and continue waiting there.

It's now 10 and Big Boy says "When is my Grandma going to get here?" My response, "They're on there way." Finally at 10:35, an hour and a half after the time you said that they would be picked up, in the back of my mind again I hear "9 is late," Grandpa arrives with your Tia(Aunt). "Sorry we were running late but we're here," he says. "You know how it is always something else to do." What? Did you really just say that? Did you really just say that there was something more important than spending time with the grand kids that live states away from you?? WTF??

Now the kids are gone and I'm upset. "9 is late," oh really, well I'm glad I didn't give in and say 8 or earlier. I was already up at 7:30 just to have them ready by 9. I would have had to get up at the butt crack of dawn if we settled on an earlier pick up time. So you were late and I still need the kids home by 5 and it's not my fault you now have less time with them. As you left I reiterated to please have them home no later than 5 but only Tia confirmed what I said so I decided to call Grandma to make sure she was aware. I didn't want 5 rolling around and then I call to check up and you tell me you didn't know.

Me: Hi, good morning, I just wanted to let you know that Grandpa and Tia just left with the boys. I know Tia heard but I'm not sure if Grandpa did but can you please have them back no later than 5.

You: 5? That's early?

Me: Yes but remember yesterday I said you can take them all day as long as you have them back by dinner because my Dad leaves for his work week tonight.

You: Oh....ok. Thank you we'll talk to you later.

Me: Ok...you have a great day.

I could tell she was probably a little upset but hey it's not my fault the boys were pick up late and I gave you fair notice the night before when you asked to take them. So I know you told me that your plans were to go to the beach where there was a park that you were going to take the boys to play. You didn't mention anything about going to the actual beach, in the water, so I didn't pack swim trunks. Anyways, I don't feel to comfortable with them going in the water unless I was there but I refrained from telling you this since you didn't mention anything about it.

So they day passes. It's shortly after 5 and Grandpa and the boy's two Tias drop them off. As Grandpa looked for a parking spot I talked to the Tias about their day. They said they ended up going to the beach and went in the water. (I'm not to thrilled about it but I'll let it slide since I didn't say specifically I didn't want them going in.) Then one tells me that the baby's pamper leaked on the way to the beach and that is was all over. I ask around what time did they get to the beach and she tells me some time after 1. Thinking to myself, What?? My assumption, did my son not have a pamper change between the time you picked him up at 10:30 till when you got to the beach after 1. That's the only possible explanation for a diaper leak. And to top it off, the baby when dropping him off was wearing the same shirt he left the house in. WTF???? Did you not see the extra clothes I left?? I know you did since you changed Big Boy. WTF??? I know it's not like you to do such a thing so there has to be more to the story right?

So after chatting with the girls, Grandpa finally comes to the house and drops the boys stuff off and tries to rush off. Your exact words "Hurry girls we have to go. We HAVE to leave. Where you rushing off to, I thought to myself. The girls said that Grandma was just making dinner and we know that dinner isn't that big of a deal in your home. So why the rush? I mean Grandpa was in such a hurry he was walking away as I tried to talk to him saying "Sorry that you weren't able to keep them later but this is the last time my Dad will be able to see them for the week." You know what I got, the cold shoulder, that yeah-yeah look, and you mine as well given me the shoo fly hand wave. You were in such a rush that you didn't even tell me or give me the chance to ask you, the grandpa, how the day went so instead I asked my son.

Me: Hey Big Boy how was your day? What did you do?

Big Boy: We went to the beach and I played in the water and the big rolling things knocked me down and I swallowed water. (Since I didn't say he couldn't go in the water, because you didn't mention it, I'll let it slide.)

Me: Oh really? So who went?

Big Boy: Grandma, Grandpa, my Tias, and me and Noah.

Me: Did Uncle M go?

Big Boy: Yes....I mean no. I saw his car but I didn't see his face.

At this point I started to get a little concerned. Reason being Grandma and Grandpa only have one car that seats 5 people. Hmm? If Uncle M didn't go then they only took one car. How is this possible?

Big Boy: Oh yeah....and Mom, I didn't sit in my car seat.

Yup, my son he's a bright bulb. He gave up the goods before I had a chance to make a sly attempt to get the answers.

As you may expect, I was furious. I wanted to call them up and say "What the hell were you thinking. You, Grandpa, just got into a huge accident, rolled 9 times down into a revine and you have the nerve to not put MY child in carseat. You have no right to make those kinds of judgements." But I didn't call them instead I continued to ask Big Boy about his day. I found out that they went back to house after the boys got picked up so that Grandpa could eat. Then they finally went to the beach around 2pm, where Grandpa slept in the car and Grandma sat on the beach. Hmm?? Is that really making the most with your time??

So I called Big E and told him that he needed to talk to his parents and that it really wasn't my place. Well he was too angry and he didn't talk to them till the next day. You know what Grandma said, "Why was she asking questions, does she not trust me?" My hubby came back with "No, she just wanted to know how their day was like any normal parent would." Go Hubby!! Any way, he told me he yelled at them etc. which I wouldn't say was necessary but the talk definitely was.

So things got a little strange and I still let them take the boys for two days during the second week of our visit. When I called to see if she wanted to take them, yes I offered the time because I didn't want to hear anyone complaining saying that I didn't offer up the kids, she was weird. Oh well, I didn't act different with her so I guess I'll just wait it out till she's over it. To top it off I made an effort to make arrangements so that they could say bye to the kids...it didn't happen. Perhaps there was "something else" to do. WTF?

It Feels Like Chaos

So the last week or so I just haven't felt like myself. It started off with a day when I was not motivated to do anything. Then the holiday weekend hit and I killed a 13x9 chocolate cake and chocolate frosting and when I told my CL Girls I was totally embarrassed, so embarrassed that I think I was turning red which is difficult being of Hispanic blood and dark olive skin(ok maybe not so much since I've been in CO but still). Then this week ended with my 4yr old finishing off his school year which means I'll have him ALL DAY LONG...AGAIN. Don't get me wrong I love my kids buy geezz 4 yr olds bring a lot to the table. Since he's been out, which is two and a half days, I'm getting the feeling that both my sons are going to drive me up the wall. Why? I'll tell you why...because Mr. 4 thinks he's the boss. He tells Mr. 1 what to do, what not to do, he lets Mr. 1 get butt naked and pee on the floor before he tells me. (In short...he's trying to get Mr. 1 into trouble) Mr. 4 is challenging me, talking back, waiting till I start to walk toward him before he goes to the corner for his time out, thinks that he has till the acutally count of 3 till he has to go to the corner(I told him I wasn't counting anymore),whines about almost everything, picks on Mr. 1, decided to lock his door to his room (neither kid was in there..TG) but it was hell trying to get it open, takes a piss in the "rinse your body" bath bowl and lets his brother dump it out. Now that was all about Mr. 4 but Mr. 1 it taking Mr. 4's lead and is jumping on the bed and the sofa. He is throwing things all the time. He's spitting and hitting. He's getting butt naked and peeing (yes it's happened more than once). He manged to cover my dining area in milk, how I don't know but I'm assuming he was sucking it out of the sippy cup then spewing it all over the floor and then playing in it. He's a sneaking little thing because he always manages to get at least one huge water filled Tupperware out of the tub which means my entire bathroom floor is soaked(my bathroom is tiny). This morning I woke up to a big thud and crying because he decided to try something new and climb out of his bed and according to Mr. 4, Mr. 1 landed on his head.


Anyways, that's just the kid stuff. So the last few days the Chef has been puking. My first thoughts..."Great I'm prego!" Yeah, when I was prego with the boys, each time he was the one with the sickness. So I took a test....it's negative...YES! (We're no way ready for that again.)


I promised to host a potluck for the mom's from school, there's not a lot of them but it's still planning and cleaning that has to be done and this has to happen before I leave for CA on the 14th.


Yes I'm visiting CA for 10 days. With my family drama that's going on, I won't go into details, I hope the trip is worth it. If not I guess it's a good thing I didn't buy my return flight in advance.


I have 3 baskets of clean laundry to fold and tons more to still clean. The kids are blessed to have so much clothes but man it's a lot.


I have bills to pay but not enough $.


I guess it's all very normal everyday life stuff but man it feels like chaos.

The Look

Well as you may have noticed I've been playing with the look of my blog. I'm just trying to get to something that I like so bare with me until I do.

One Of Those Days

Today is one of those days. The days where I wish I could have just stayed in bed all day, even if it was beautiful out. A day where I wished I didn't have to get up and make breakfast, get my 4 year old ready for school, make his lunch, and walk him to school. A day where I wished I didn't have to watch two toddlers, change their pampers, and when the 2 year old went in her pamper give her the shpeel about going in the potty. A day where I wished I didn't have to clean the mess of food after the toddlers ate lunch. It was just one of those days when I wished I was 22 again, young, stupid, free from serious responsibility. Yeah it was just one of those days.

Mother's Day

Ok so the last umm, let's see, 3 years, I've been hoping to actually spend it with my entire family. This would include my two monstrous little boys and my husband. This is a normal request for Mother's day right? To be all together?

Having my husband be with me on Mother's Day, all day, like I said hasn't happened in 3 years. Two of the three years I managed because I've had family to fill the void but this year there is no family because they're in CA and I'm in CO. You see, my husband the Chef, doesn't get Mother's Day off. For obvious reasons, Mother's Day tends to be a big day for the restaurant industry, but do you think I really care? I guess I really shouldn't complain but after three years of waking up to my husband saying "Happy Mother's Day, I'm off to work," I tend to get a little pissy but let me tell you why.

Because:

1. I'm tired of doing everything for everyone else and when the one day comes where I should be treated like a Queen I actually think I deserve it.

2. I would love to sleep in till noon once a year.

3. I would love someone else to make the kids breakfast, lunch, dinner, and the snacks in between.

4. I would love to not do the dishes.

5. I would love not to have to change a pamper.

6. I would like to get one of the 5 "IOU a massage" that I've been collecting over the past year since we moved to CO. YES...I am keeping count.

7. I would like to take a long shower that isn't really early in the morning or really late at night.

8. I would like to do my hair right after that shower.

9. I would like to get breakfast in bed.

10. Out of 365 days a year, for one day I would like to be taken care of.


You know what bothers me the most is that even though the husband has to work on Mother's Day, he doesn't even try to make it up to me. The day passes, no card, no gift, no nice gestures. There were a few nice words but as the saying goes "Actions speak louder than words."

So what did I do for Mother's Day? I got up, got myself and the boys ready and we went to church. Which you should know I haven't done since we moved to CO, which is over a year. Then I came home and it was just like any other day. But I am glad that I have my friend Jill who gave me a gift that made smile all day... a giant king sized Special Dark Hershey's bar that I devoured in a day. I ate the last few pieces with the rest of the wine we didn't finish the other day. (Yup, in one day I killed a king sized chocolate bar....that's what chocoholics do.) Then I went to bed.


It was just another day.


***Note***
My husband really is a good man, a great father and husband but as most women would agree, like most men, he manages to fall short when I had hopes he wouldn't.

This Past Sunday

Since moving to Colorado I can't say that I've had very many panic attacks and this is a good thing. A great thing, until this past Sunday that is.

I had a friend in town from back home and so I had planned a trip down toward Colorado Springs. On the agenda, three stops, Garden of the Gods, Cave of the Winds, and her old high school friend's house. We knew the weather forecast predicted rain and we thought no big deal, neither one of us is the Wicked Witch of the West so why let a little rain stop us.

After a fun filled day.......Unexpectedly......SNOW!!! Not just any snow, we're talking blizzard. And this is how THE story beings.

My Friend: "Wow, I've never seen rain fall at me before. I've only seen it fall down on me."

Me: "Uh...I don't think that's rain, I think it's snow."

My Friend: "Really, I've never seen it snow fall before. Cool! Another new experience."

As we drive the snow gets heavier.

My Friend: "Cool, this looks like Star Wars and we're going light speed!"

Me: "Yeah it does! Wait...what happened, there are no street lights?"

Yup that part of the freeway, interstate or what ever you call it is now completely dark.

Now if I haven't mentioned it to you before I suffer from panic attacks and these usually occur when I'm driving, and usually I'm driving in normal weather conditions. So me a CA girl, who has NEVER driven in the snow, is now driving in the snow and not by choice. I start to panic only I don't let on to my friend because I don't want her to worry. Of course my efforts to hide my panic doesn't really work. I guess yelling out "I can't do this," is a sign of a freak out for sure

As I try to focus through the snow which again looks like light speed, I attempted to stay close to the car in front of me and then with in minutes he's gone and I'm alone. I start to lean into my steering wheel in hopes that getting closer to the windshield I will be able to see better. And then I start to curse Colorado..."Why is it F*%#ing snowing in May? Why aren't there any F*%#ing street lights? Why doesn't Colorado have the F*%#ing little reflectors on the road? I F*%#ing hate Colorado! I can't believe I moved here!" After all the cursing I decide to pray. It must of worked a little because here came another car that passed me and then changed lanes to be infront of me. I wasn't alone anymore and so I started to follow that car. After a short distance the car exits and once again, I'm alone. This time the snow is so heavy and I can't even see the road and I drive off it. Yup, I drove off the road, freeway, interstate, what ever you call it, into the left center ditch and at the last second realizing that I'm stopping a little ways from the center railing that divides the freeway and right in front of an abandoned TV box. I'm am now officially freaked and totally trying to keep it together for myself, my friend and my two little boys that are thankfully fast asleep in the back of the car. I turn on my hazard lights and try to get myself right in the head.

My Friend: "You're ok, we're ok. What do you want to do?"

As I sit there and think about the answer to her question and number of options come to mind.

1. I could cry.
2. I could stay here.
3. I could get back on the road.

Well I figure crying won't help. Staying here might mean something worse, getting stuck for good, getting hit by someone else, etc. So getting back on the road was my only real option.

So I said to myself "Suck it up, put the car in 4x4, and when the traffic opens up get back on the road."

I waited for the traffic to open up and then started to drive out of the ditch. The wheels spinning and the car slightly sliding I knew my friend was alarmed but I did get out and back on the road. Just then I notice those red and blue lights that we often don't like to see, close in so I decide to wait. He pulled up behind me, then beside me, I rolled down the window and the officer tells me to pull over to the right shoulder. So as I pulled over he threw on his siren which alarmed me and I thought to myself "Why is he doing that to me?" Then I realized that he was probably warning the other cars behind him to not move.

I rolled the window down and the officer says "What are you doing in the center ditch where you could get hit." His tone was so, well the best way to explain his tone would be that he should of just said "Are you stupid?" My eyes immediately filled with tears and I tried to hold them back as much as I could but once they started flowing I couldn't stop. I felt like such a loser crying but I was filled with emotion and when confronted it just came out. My response to the officer in a shakey voice was,"I'm sorry, I've never driven in anything like this before. I drove off the road and didn't know what to do and I'm just really nervous right now." So needless to say he understood and gave me some advice, asked where we were from and where we were going. He told me that the snow wasn't all the way to Denver and I had 10 miles to go before it ended. I'm not a really good judge of distance so every second I drove I prayed that it would be that 10 mile mark. But I followed his advice and made it out of the snow.

I let out a huge sigh of relief and then the phone rang. It was Ernie. I didn't answer it, my friend took the call, and we pretended like nothing happened. Now that we were in the clear it was easier for me to show less freak out emotions but deep inside I was crying and laughing. Crying because I was so scared and laughing because I just conquered one of my greatest fears.

Yummm...Food

Naturally when you think about food it's because your hungry or something just looks appetizing. Well for me on a daily basis I think food...what kind of mood am I in...am I ready to clean the walls, tables, floors, hands, and faces or just the hands, faces and floors. Yes meals here are determine as to how it will effect my dinning room but at the same time nourish those little bodies that are suppose to be eating.

I try to clean up afterwards but cleaning up after little ones three meals a day is a timely and inevitable chore. I do my best but sometimes I don't feel like scrubbing the food off the walls. So what do ya know, it collects. Which means when you have company coming over...it's time to clean the walls. Sucky!! I have every intention to scrub that applesauce off, the spaghetti sauce off, and all the other unidentifiable splatters of food. So I'm cleaning the walls....well maybe.

And you thought the title of this post was going to lead you into reading about some awesome dish that my husband the chef made...LOL.

Cry Now??

For all of you that don't know I am a HUGE DMB fan. What is DMB...how dare you ask such a question!! Dave Matthews Band...duh! Anyways for the past...umm...6 years I've been going to Dave's (yes we're on a first name basis) summer concerts and I've flip E-Dogg into liking them too and he's gone to I believe it's 3 out of the 6. So you could imagine to my surprise when DMB revealed their 2007 Summer Tour schedule and Denver was NOT on the list. Hmm...I thought to myself, maybe they just didn't settle on a venue yet...because to my understanding the Rapids have a new stadium and back home DMB would play at the Home Depot Center home of the Galaxy, yup that's right the new soon to be home of that ever so hott soccer player David Beckham, maybe you've heard of him. Well the stadium, it's HUGE which makes it totally appropriate for Dave's fan nation.

Did I ever tell you about my first DMB concert? It was at Dodger Stadium which holds a whopping 56,000. I was amazed because this place was jammed packed all the way up to the nose bleeds and the field was covered with people too. At that time I had no idea DMB even had a Fan Nation. Anyways, that first experience hooked me.

Well back to my thought of not settling on a venue, it turns out that they really aren't making it to Denver. SOO SAD! He didn't even ask me if he could skip us. jk See this this is the email they sent me after I got tired of waiting to find out if they were coming (I'm so impatient):

----- Original Message -----
From: Dave Matthews Band Fan Mail
To: Jennifer Ortiz
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 1:09 PM
Subject: Re: ??
Jennifer -

DMB hopes to get back to Denver soon. This year's tour is a bit scaled back due to their tours in Australia and Europe, not to mention Dave is expecting his third child this summer. They hope to get back to Colorado in the near future though

http://www.warehouse.davematthewsband.com/434-984-6850 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. ET, M-Fmailto:M-Ffanmail@davematthewsband.com


----- Original Message -----
From: Jennifer Ortiz
To: fanmail@davematthewsband.com
Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 1:21 PM
Subject: ??
Could it really be....is DMB not taking their Summer Tour to Denver????

Well I guess I forgot to mention that I did miss one year of the concerts because...gosh darn it I was PREGO. So I guess it only fair for DMB to stand me up, after all he is having his 3rd child.

Note to Dave: Congrats on the new rugrat it's too bad he wasn't scheduled to pop out durningWinter or some other season besides Summer.

Anyways...I'm Sad!!

The Question

Isn't "What is the purpose of my life" THE question? Isn't this what we search for. What will make our life purposeful? What will bring us happiness or contentment? For as long as I can remember I have been pondering over the answer to this ulimate question. Seriously, I've had journals growing up and when I read back on them I find myself asking The same question. After what, maybe 12 years I still don't know the answer and I'm sure that I never will. I searched in Google "what is the purpose of life," and this How To Discover Your Life Purpose In About 20 Minutes came up. So naturally I read it and did the suggested exercise. So what his dude says is, do this:

Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.If you get mini surges to cry, highlight those, it means your getting close.


So I came up with a list of 88 things. I'm not sure how long it took but it did seem like for ever.:

1. To live.
2. To be a wife.
3. To be a mother.
4. To be a friend.
5. To laugh.
6. To cry.
7. To smile.
8. To clean.
9. To pretend.
10. To die.
11. To be saved.
12. To save.
13. To have faith.
14. To work.
15. To eat.
16. To dance.
17. To grow.
18. To love.
19. To understand life
20. To believe.
21. To be smart.
22. To be pretty.
23. To be a good listener.
24. To enjoy the world.
25. To travel.
26. To listen to music.
27. To give encouragement.
28. To be realistic.
29. To be desperate.
30. To be disappointed.
31. To be desired.
32. To desire.
33. To eat chocolate.
34. To love Ernie.
35. To teach my children.
36. To take care of my parents.
37. To support my siblings.
38. To drink beer.
39. To be with God after living on earth.
40. To write.
41. To be thoughtful.
42. To be open-minded.
43. To be critical.
44. To marry.
45. To be a grandmother.
46. To suffer.
47. To find love.
48. To give love
49. To be loved.
50. To share love
51. To be united
52. To be confused
53. To provide someone else with clarity
54. To work hard
55. To be taken advantage of
56. To be overcome
57. To Overcome
58. To see peace
59. To know that I did good
60. To feel accomplished
61. Is to find clarity
62. To be true to myself
63. To find peace with God
64. To make my family proud
65. To make God proud
66. To deny evil
67. To give myself to God
68. To be good
69. To be pure
70. To be real
71. To be true
72. To be a great mother
73. To have my husband and children love me
74. To be ok
75. To be
76. To be curious
77. To be lost
78. To witness life
79. To have my life witnessed
80. To overcome hard times
81. To figure out me
82. To find true inner peace
83. To love myself
84. To protect my children at all costs
85. To love unconditionally
86. To stay positive
87. To live with out regret
88. To know that I was a good person

So this is my final purpose:

To understand life, to be loved, to share love, to find peace with God, to live without regret and know that I was a good person.


If this is truly my life's purpose why am I not satisfied??? You try it, what do you come up with?

Jibber Jabber

Welcome to "Yup I'm Yapping" a place where...I will be yapping about anything and everything. I hope that my future posting will amuse you in some way but as for today...it's been boring.